March 25 Daily Affirmation:
I would go to more parties if I was an elephant so I could stand in the middle of the room and eat all the snacks and nobody would talk about me.
March 24 Daily Affirmation:
One out of ten doctors recommends that you follow a health regimen that is based on the assumption that nine out of ten doctors are quacks.
March 23 Daily Affirmation
The best way to acquire a cat is to leave your front door open by accident.
This is also the best way to get rid of a cat.
March 22 Daily Affirmation:
The night is always darkest just before an overhanging branch stabs you in the eye.
March 21 Daily Affirmation:
Relax. Don’t sweat it. We are at the time of year when there is no such thing as “the right jacket”.
March 20 Daily Affirmation:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—I took the one less traveled by, and that has made no God damn difference.
March 19th Daily Affirmation
Whether the sound of gentle snoring fills you with a sense of peace and tranquility or a feeling of murderous rage depends on whether the person snoring is your spouse or your dog.
March 18th Daily Affirmation
Couples that practice it say that the biggest difference between polyamory and monogamy is the increased level of communication that occurs in polyamory. So, no thanks.
March 15th Daily Affirmation
It’s March 15th. Who would have thought.
March 14th Daily Affirmation
In the grand scheme of life, there is no grand scheme of life. There is just a consecutive series of little schemes that don’t pan out.
March 13th Daily Affirmation
“It was the best of times, it was the I-don’t-fucking-believe-this of times.”
March 12th Daily Affirmation
“I can deal with the voices inside my head, it’s the voices outside I struggle with.”